When I first went to French Polynesia in 1976, I thought maybe it was a word that was used throughout the Pacific islands. What did I know? I had never been to Hawaii and only knew of the word from television shows. Wrong. There is not even a word that comes close to it in Tahitian. The Tahitian traditional greeting is "Ia orana." Sometimes that is slurred together into a "I'ora" but my understanding was that even that is quite modern.
I found that there is a similar Samoan word "alofa" and a Maori word "aroha" that mean "love" but they do not include a greeting or other salutation in their meaning. Now, it is easy to see that the written interpretation when taken down back in the mists of time by a missionary trying to understand what is being said to him, easily ends up with the words "alofa", "aroha" and "aloha" all actually being the same word-----altered over time and distance.
It is stated that pre-white man, the word "anoai" was the closest Hawaiian word to "aloha" and yet even other greeting words were used.
SO---when I moved to Maui in 1991, I had some interest in finding out the real meaning behind it. The first thing I noticed, was that I was making a real ass out of myself walking around saying "Aloha" to everyone I would meet! It became apparent that this was NOT the way things were done in Hawaii! (contrary to the image promoted by the travel industry, etc)
This was especially odd to me because I had learned in Tahiti to greet everyone with "Ia orana" (and the added "E aha te huru?"--How are you?) Whether this was something transferred from the French habit of doing the same ---a MUST of social courtesy, greeting people with a "bonjour" and then an "au revoir" when leaving---or not, who knows? But it was something I learned and had locked into my mind for " life in the islands." EVERY Tahitian man that you met or were introduced to shook your hand after the obligatory "Ia orana" (though a very limp, one clasp hand shake, still, a hand shake) and every Tahitian woman expected and gave a kiss on each cheek. Again---probably part of the French influence but charming none the less.
I had the whole importance of greeting people and sharing affection in Tahiti really defined for me one morning while out running my usual 5 mile exercise. It was a grey, slightly rainy early morning---just after sunrise, so about 6am---and I was slogging along nearing the halfway mark of my run. I would go 2 1/2 miles around the corner of Cook's Bay from my bungalow in Pao Pao, Moorea, and then turn around near the Bali Hai Hotel and head back. I had just passed an elderly woman out raking her yard (something the women of the households did every day----clean up the fallen leaves and such) when she YELLED at me in Tahitian "Ita Ia orana e parauparau pour ton hoa Koki poipoi?" (basically "No hello and chat with your friend Koki this morning?") I turned and she was standing there with her rake in hand and the other on her hip---glaring at me! Koki was the mother of a friend of mine's girlfriend-----I may have actually met her once, but knew who she was---and was one of the revered "mama ru'au" of the area (grandma) I stopped. Walked back to her. Gave her a very sweet "Ia orana, Koki. E aha te huru?" with a kiss on both cheeks and had a little talk with her ---while I sweated and huffed and puffed and cooled down from my run. She finally gave me a "ei ei, Toma"---patting me on the cheek ("ei ei" being a simple expression of affection---an endearment) and sent me on my way. It was all very sweet---BUT!!! I got the idea---do NOT think that whatever you are doing is SO important that you can't take a second of your time to acknowledge a friend!
So----as stated----here I was new to Hawaii---walking around tossing out "Aloha!'s" to everyone and getting a "What's wrong with you?" look---(with the unspoken--"haole boy!!" attitude tossed in.
I soon after decided I would take a Hawaiian language class to help understand the difference between Tahitian (which I had a fair understanding and comprehension of) and Hawaiian. They turned out to be VERY similar languages with words almost identical---only a letter or two changed. For example: Tahitian "tupuna" and Hawaiian "kupuna" "Ancestor" in each language---only the "t" switched to a "k." Again---I could visualize some Missionary trying to write down what he heard and getting it just slightly varied. Same with Tahitian "fare" and Hawaiian "hale." "House" in both languages. In this case 2 letters changed but the interesting thing about THAT word is it is the same throughout the South Pacific--Samoan AND Tongan "fale", Fijian "vale" (and "bure"), etc.
My teacher was a pure blood Hawaiian lady named Maile. She was about my age, of average build with a wicked scar on one side of her face that forced her mouth to turn up on that side and her eye to "droop." She explained that she had served two tours with the US Army as an interpreter during the Vietnam War. Not interpreting the Vietnamese but as an observer and female witness during interrogations with suspected Vietcong collaborators. She explained that her male counterpart was also Hawaiian and they were specifically assigned to question people---but talk back and forth with each other and compare observations in Hawaiian---so that the detainee would not know what was being discussed or observed. She also explained that having a general "feel" for the idea of "Aloha" allowed her to see beyond what they were SAYING they were doing and actually FEEL what they were up to.
This, of course, interested me beyond learning the correct pronunciation of the language. She and I instantly got along very well---and she liked the fact that I could give Tahitian versions of phrases or words that she would bring up in our lessons. There were about 10 people in the class and it became very clear that some of them found it a "bit" annoying to have this banter going back and forth between the two of us, so we began to talk outside of class---mostly during extended telephone conversations. Some of these went on for hours and, it became obvious, were a chance for Maile to "vent" ("perhaps" with a bit of liquid "fuel" added) about her time in the military AND her views on the "conversion" of Hawaii into "tourist land."
In one of these talks, she explained that the word "Aloha" was being misused. It was NOT a greeting, she said---or even "love"----it was a feeling of calm, open, compassion and sharing. She asked "You've met people who just FEEL good to be around? Who welcome you with their smile and you immediately relax and return the feeling? THAT"S 'aloha'." She said, "Part of the "old style" island life that I grew up with was EVERY time you stopped by someones house, it was expected that you should share the food, laugh and talk and exchange information about what was happening around the island, help with any gardening or gathering and even lay down to nap and talk quietly in the heat of the late afternoon." I told her that this life she was referring to as "in the past" is "kind of" what I had experienced in Tahiti. A MUCH slower lifestyle where sharing info and food and help was simply part of the way it was. I also told her that my Mother had that kind of glowing love that you could feel. Many times I had seen her whole face and persona change when she was around children or ladies of her own age. Maile said "Yes, that's it. If you are observant you can SEE the spirit of aloha that some people have. Of course, not everyone has this and there are those who are trying to convince other people they are something else. That is why I was so good in Vietnam. I KNEW what to watch for and knew how it SHOULD feel like when people were trying to be helpful and when they were just fooling. Sadly, I realized after a while that, as usual, the military was using my understanding of 'aloha" to their advantage and I was using it in the wrong way." She stopped----and then said----"and you get angry or sloppy and you make a mistake and you end up with a scar." and that was the end of THAT conversation.
I saw, and she helped define for me, the way that the "word" had been used by the tourism business to help create the image of the "Happy Land of Aloha." The "Aloha Tower" in Honolulu is at the harbor where the cruise ships used to dock. Hawaii ---a land taken from it's people---was turned into the "Aloha State." The image and use and presentation of the idea of Aloha is everywhere. Aloha, as the cynics say, is a word on a bumper sticker. But the meaning is still very much "there." Maybe a bit more difficult to find in its original sense---and maybe a bit misunderstood---but it's still there. It's a sense of understanding and compassion. A smile and a welcome instead of a frown and a question.
I've tried my best but must admit that there are times when it is a struggle---just trying to have that openness. Especially when others are so determined to use it in the wrong way........
I had been living in my little bungalow in Kihei, Maui for about 10 years at the time of this tale. It was a typical "plantation workers hale"---on stilts with a wide overhanging roof and windows all around. I had rented it cheap because the yard had been neglected and not watered in some time---and was basically sand and dust. There were a few dehydrated avocado trees, some plumeria and a lime tree. All surrounded by a dried up twisted vine hedge of lilikoi (passion fruit)
A one block walk to the park and ocean---with the grocery store and movie theater a block over---I decided it was PERFECT and began repairing and pampering it. After ten years of effort, all of the trees had come back, the hedge was full of flowers and passion fruit and I had added a lime tree and assorted plants and vegetables in the garden. I had 3 different type of hybrid avocado and 5 different Plumeria trees ---all with different color and scented flowers. My own little tropical paradise. With the hedge blocking anyone from view, I found that I could leave the windows open and every morning open the front door for my dog to wander out into the yard----leaving it open for her and me all day to enjoy the scents and colors.
SO one morning, I had gotten my cup of coffee, stepped down the 3 stairs into my yard, enjoying the breeze and watching my Lani dog wander and snuffle around the yard. I was standing there for some time when I noticed a lady in a straw hat, blonde and wearing a pareu as a skirt/wrap---partially hidden, standing underneath one of the plumeria trees---up near the entrance/corner of the yard. She was partially turned away from me, with plastic bag in her hand, picking flowers off of the tree. I just watched her while sipping my coffee. She finally noticed me, and waving, said (in a trilly kind of high voice) "ALOHA!!"---and went back to what she was doing. I said nothing. Just kept watching her---sipping my coffee. She turned back to me and said "John always let me come and pick flowers to make lei when I visit." and again "ALOHA!!" I said, "I've been here 10 years. Was John the previous owner? because I rent from a gentleman over in Oahu named Myanglong." "Oh yes", she said, "he must have purchased it after John died." ---and went back to her gathering. I just stood there watching her. "I knew you wouldn't mind sharing with me ---like John." she said. "I'm not sharing----you're taking." I said, " How do you know I don't have a purpose behind watering and pampering these trees? "
( the truth was that there WAS a handicapped gentleman who very quietly stopped by every once and a while and came ---with the typical local call/sound "whoeee, whoeee" ------to ask if he could gather for his friends. He was a giant of a man and always very sweet---and, of course, I not only let him pick but quietly helped him)
I now had started to walk over near her---still picking away---and I saw she had another bag at her feet with 3 lumps in it, which I guessed to be avocado. "Where do YOU live?", I asked. "Oh---up country," she replied. "OK, but what's your street address?" I asked again. She now stopped and looked at me, "Why?" (kind of chuckling) "Well, because I want to be able to come by and take whatever I want out of YOUR yard whenever I want to."----------silence-----------
"I thought it would be OK. John always let me take whatever"
"John's dead. I'm the one who's food and flowers you're taking."
"You're mean."
"You're a thief."
"That's not very Aloha"
"Aloha is sharing and willingness to help and understanding of the need for compassion. Aloha is me saying to you now---please take what you have with my blessing and come back any time---and ask."
She huffed and gathered her things and trotted off to her rental car and, I am sure, enjoyed her flowers and avocado.
I waved as she drove away and gave her a loud "ALOHA!" to take along with her.......
